The Desire To Become A Parent: Some Facts

The desire to become a parent: some facts

The desire to become a parent can arise at any point in life and for a variety of reasons. Most drivers for this are valid, but some are not.

Becoming a mom or dad can be both planned and completely unexpected. In either case, it is important that the couple is on the same page about certain decisions they will have to make in the future regarding parenting.

At best, a child is born as the icing on the cake of something planned by two people who form a couple. This will ensure safety and stability for the child in the future.

This is also an important factor for the peace of mind of both parents. The decision to become a parent will completely change the dynamics of a relationship.

This can lead to problems if the desire to become a parent is not entirely genuine. Some people view children as a way to achieve something rather than an end goal.

When a child is born under these circumstances, it can lead to all kinds of problems for all family members.

Couple lying in bed smiling

Where does the desire to become a parent come from?

A few decades ago, aging was not a subject that required deep analysis. Back then, bringing a child into the world was seen more as proof of a stable relationship.

Reproduction was considered inevitable. Today, however, advanced contraceptives exist. These have revolutionized how people deal with parenting.

Now people have the freedom to make choices. The couple can decide for themselves when is the right time to bring a baby into this world.

At best, this decision is made when a couple wants to take their relationship to the next level. 

They decide to start a family and make it their life’s work together.

The desire to become a parent: some bad reasons

Sometimes the decision to become a parent is made rather carelessly. This happens when people, who actually have no desire to become parents, are influenced by factors such as religion and local customs.

Such people sometimes decide to become mom and dad because of guilt. Children are also sometimes brought into the world out of a sense of duty. However, a child requires an enormous amount of dedication. This can often only be brought up in a healthy way when the child is the result of a well-considered choice.

There are also couples who have relationship problems and think that a child will solve all these problems. This is a very bad way of thinking. In such cases, the arrival of a baby will usually destroy what was already cracked.

However, there are some exceptions. That is why it is important that you as a couple assess the situation in an honest way.

Only the couple themselves can decide if they are ready. After all, raising a child is a huge responsibility.

What do you have to take into account?

Here are the key factors to consider:

  • The decision must be made together as a couple. In other words, this must be discussed honestly and extensively. Both the man and the woman must know what to expect from the other.
  • Keep the practicalities in mind. As a couple, it is important to estimate whether there is enough time for parenthood. Financial and emotional circumstances must also be considered. In addition, the couple must decide for themselves which form of parenting is most suitable in their case.
  • The couple must be willing to make drastic changes to their routine. They need to know that many challenges await them and how they will deal with them. A child will completely mess up the daily routine. Is the couple ready to undergo such a drastic transformation?
  • dedication. Both partners must be committed to this decision. It is important that both partners can talk openly about what they can or cannot contribute.
Couple lies in bed with two hands on a pregnant belly

When one of the partners does not want children

This is common. One of the parents has a desire to have children and the other does not. In these cases, the desire to become a parent is not shared, so one of them will have to adapt.

In this situation it is very important that we talk to each other. It is crucial that both partners are willing to listen to each other.

There is no room for prejudice, coercion or arguments here. Each parent should be free to express his or her own choice.

Sometimes someone is afraid of getting older because of certain circumstances, such as the financial situation.

In such cases, it is important that the couple find solutions together in a positive way to change this situation.

There are also people who are strongly opposed to the thought of becoming a mom or dad. If this is the case, then both partners should think very carefully about whether it still makes sense to continue as a couple. 

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