Agree On A Child’s Education
When a couple decides to start a family, two worlds come together to form an entirely new one. Each partner’s baggage, opinions, and points of view collide together to take on the task of raising a family. This can make agreeing on raising a child a difficult challenge.
When we become parents, the way our parents raised us becomes apparent. Whether the intention is to repeat it or to avoid it, the education we have been given plays an important role. Our fears, desires and beliefs come to the fore and sometimes clash with those of our partner.
A common front
However , it is essential that children see their parents as a common, solid and solid front. This provides them with clear boundaries and security regarding how to treat themselves in life.
When children witness constant disagreements between their parents, they receive mixed messages and feel a lack of a clear reference point.
Contradictions between parents and the resulting feeling of insecurity undoubtedly lead to sadness and discomfort in children.
In addition , it can become a factor that children learn to take advantage of. In other words, children can use these conflicts between their parents to align themselves at every opportunity with the parent’s point of view they prefer at the time.
Even when it comes to divorced parents, it is still best to reach an agreement on a child’s education. It is important that the children of divorced parents receive the same messages in both homes.
Lack of agreement on a child’s education
There are two main situations that indicate the difficulty of parents in reaching agreement on the education of a child.
Both have completely different perspectives on parenting
This is the clearest case. Given their own life experiences, each parent has very different ideas about what is best for their child’s education. Both feel that they are right and that what they believe is true. This causes inflexibility when it comes to dialogue, listening and negotiation with their partner.
Each partner tries to impose what he or she likes, which creates a sense of confusion and lack of control in children. Because of this , disagreements and arguments between parents are constant and can become a battle of egos.
There is a similarity in theory, but not in practice
Another situation that often arises is when parents agree on a child’s education through dialogue. They seem to share the same values and viewpoints and have no qualms about setting rules for their home.
When it comes to putting their agreement into practice, one parent is much more tolerant than the other. The parenting philosophy he or she fully supported now seems unimportant. The parent makes constant exceptions and no longer takes the parenting agreement seriously.
By doing this, mild-mannered parents undo all their partner’s hard work in sticking to the agreement and setting boundaries. In addition, they set them up with their children as the inflexible bogeyman.
How to agree on a child’s education
- You are a new family. It is then good to talk about the education you both received and use it as a reference point in some aspects. However, don’t lose sight of the fact that this is a completely new family. You do n’t have to repeat your parents’ actions. The way your parents raised you isn’t the only way, or even necessarily the best way.
- Make sure you and your partner show you as a united front. Talk privately about the rules you want to impose at home. Avoid arguing and contradicting each other in front of the children. If one of you has a conflict with your child, it’s best for the other to stay out of it. Wait until you are alone to talk about it.
- Remember you are a team. Your partner is not the enemy, but rather your ally. Look for solutions together and avoid accusations and power struggles.
- Be constant in setting boundaries. Do not leave the task of parenting to your partner and do not undermine his or her hard work. Once you have entered into an agreement, you must put it into practice. Raising a person takes effort, but it is a beautiful responsibility.
