Separation Anxiety In Children And What You Can Do About It

Separation anxiety in children can be difficult, but you should act in a way that encourages your children to interact with other people. In this article we will tell you more about this behavior.

Wanting to be alone with their mother can be costly, but also a problem. This is especially difficult when a mother has to get back to her daily routine.

What is separation anxiety in children?

Separation anxiety can occur when children are too attached to their mothers.

This behavior involves crying, tantrums, and refusing to stay with other people. It may even make them not want their mother to be gone even for a few minutes.

When they are little, they just want to be in their mother’s arms. When they’re a little older, they’ll say “mama” before saying anything else. Later, even when they are older, they will add “I want to go to mommy”.

This extreme attachment and constant complaining can cause problems. The mother has to be 100% aware of her children and no one else can do anything for them.

It is true that babies need their mother for everything. She is the primary caregiver, both in terms of food and care. So it is normal for them to choose their mother over other relatives and friends.

However, as children grow older, uncles, grandparents, and siblings can also help. For example:

• To change diapers
• Bathe them
• Put them to bed
• play with them

What happens if the mother has to do all these things or they will cry desperately? That’s when we need to talk about separation anxiety.

It is an extreme attachment. There may also be times when children want to undergo changes that allow them to become more independent.

Causes and Symptoms of Separation Anxiety

Many people think that separation anxiety in children is due to the mother not ‘detaching’ herself. They say that the mother did not allow the father to adequately care for the children.

However, that is not the case. There are many other factors, such as:

1. Fear of Learning

Whenever the child learns something important, he experiences frustration, such as walking or talking alone. He wants to be with his mother, who calms him down and makes him feel safe.

2. Recognition of the environment

Until the age of 10 months old, children are unaware of what is happening around them. However, they recognize famous people. When children see that they are leaving, they cry because they think they will not come back.

3. Big Changes

We are not only talking about internal changes, but also changes in everyday life. Some of these may include:

• Start daycare
• To move house
• Travel
• The death of a family member

These are all reasons why children feel insecure.

4. Oedipus Complex

Maternal separation anxiety is also related to what psychology calls the ‘Oedipus complex’. This Freudian theory states that the child is in love with its mother. He considers his father an enemy.

In the case of girls, it is the Elektra complex where she idolizes her father and is in constant conflict with her mother.

How do you recognize separation anxiety in children?

How can you tell if your child has separation anxiety? Actually it is quite simple. The habits and behavior are usually persistent and immediate. The child:

• Calls his mother every two minutes and cries at night.
• Just wants mommy to feed him, dress him, play with him and put him to bed.
• Cries when he doesn’t see his mother.
• Hangs on his mother’s arms or legs when she’s doing something else. For example, if she is trying to cook or work.
• Doesn’t want to interact with other kids if his mom isn’t playing along.
• Shows excessive jealousy when interacting with another child.

Is it possible to reverse separation anxiety in children? The first thing you need to know is what he’s trying to achieve with his attitude. In most cases it is something transient, which you can overcome by being patient.

Remember that in the end you are the one who decides how things go in your home. You shouldn’t put your work or personal well-being aside to get your child to stop crying.

Little by little he will calm down. In the end, he will accept that he has to let Grandma or Dad take care of him.