No Fears Mom, You’re Doing Well

Don’t worry mom, you’re doing well. It makes sense that you have sleepless nights because you tend to react to your baby’s cries all the time; you know that offering affection is important and no one knows better than you what your baby needs at all times.

All mothers know is that it is not necessary to give birth yourself to know what love is. Motherhood itself does not exempt us from some fears.

We are afraid that our children will stop breathing when they sleep. Every day we ask ourselves if we are doing the right thing. We ponder whether we are not spoiling our children too much, as our own mother and friends say.

No one is born with a parenting manual. But one thing must be clear: you are doing well and when in doubt, the pediatrician is your best advisor.

Baker’s talk is irrelevant to a mother’s natural instincts and her confidence in professional help. 

Every mother’s 3 fears

Sometimes a mother’s fears are defined by her personal and family history.  A difficult childhood with emotional deficits or abuse ensures that a mother does not want to repeat at all costs. She wants to close her personal gaps and give her child the personal, emotional and physical balance she herself lacked in her own childhood.

At the same time, when a woman does not feel good in relation to her partner or her work, she may develop a certain fear. She will try to control and relieve these, so that nothing stands in the way of her child’s education.

Motherhood is full of patterns.  On the one hand there is our personal history. On the other hand, there is society and the social and emotional context we live in. The last pattern is the most sensitive and important, namely the pattern we create with our baby.

Types of fear

Let’s look at the three forms of anxiety a mother experiences until she gets to the point where she thinks she’s not doing it right.

• Fear of not knowing the needs of her children.  This fear is common and at the same time very understandable. Moreover, the same concern keeps cropping up as more children arrive. Every baby is different and has different needs.

However, in order not to develop a fear of this, it is important to remember that for every need your baby has, you are the best solution. The bond you create with him from the moment he comes into the world ensures that you intuitively know what is best for him. In addition, you have access to professional care providers who are willing to advise you at all times.

• Fear of making the same mistakes as her parents.  Somehow we all have a picture in our head of what our family did or didn’t do when we were little ourselves. Realize that motherhood and fatherhood does not mean that you will never make mistakes yourself. Perfect parents don’t exist.

However, it is essential to be “present”. It’s important to actually be there for your kids when they need you.

• Fear of not knowing what makes your children happy. This is also a common fear. But don’t worry about it. Remember some essentials: listen to your child, respect his development and teach him to be responsible. Make him feel special and remind him that you will always be by his side, whichever path he chooses.

You are doing well and you are a perfect mother

 An interesting concept has been widely reported in an article published in the journal Psychologies . One that will no doubt help you discover that you are doing extremely well as a mother.

It is about the idea of ​​the “perfect mother”. Here are the focal points that brought this idea to fruition and that we should all strive for:

• The perfect mother does not see herself as the perfect mother. She learns every day and gives her child the best under her conditions.
• The perfect mother does not project her own emotional problems onto her children.  A bad day at work or an argument with her partner has no effect on the quality of the relationship with her children.
• A perfect mother is not overprotective, she does not control her children and gives them freedom.  She teaches them to become responsible and mature so that they will be happy in the future.
• An emotional mother sets a good example. It helps her children to improve their self-confidence and self-image.

It is worth remembering this and always relying on yourself.